It’s happened to us all at one time or another. We’ve been introduced to someone new and they just don’t seem to take to us. Or maybe a good friend is annoyed at us and we can’t understand why. Perhaps we get a lecture at work about being more approachable or being able to take criticism.
Do you scratch your head and wonder what they’re talking about?
Maybe you’re like me, a victim of that previously unnamed syndrome – Resting Bitch Face.
Yep, that annoying social syndrome that has plagued so many for so long has been given a name. What most likely started as a joke is actually quite appropriate.
My default facial expression is quite serious. I blame growing up as the daughter of a teacher, who was known to be particularly fearsome.
So whenever I’m concentrating on something, whether I’m in a meeting at work, typing away on the computer or listening to someone talk, I present my serious face to the world. To me, this is just my natural expression. It’s just how my face looks. I’m not one to display a big beaming smile for hours on end without reason.
However, on occasion, my apparently stern face has been misinterpreted by people who are too eager to read meaning into the nuances of non-verbal communication. I might get feedback on a piece of work and the other person thinks they’ve upset or offended me. Nope, I’m just listening and planning my next steps. Don’t look so afraid.
Chances are, if I’ve got my bitch face on, I’m thinking intently about something. I’m not in a mood; I won’t bite your head off if you speak to me. I’m nice.
Once you get to know me the smile will come out. Maybe I’ll even share an embarrassing anecdote or a comedy dance routine.
So I’m here to say, don’t judge us resting bitches for our occasionally harsh faces. We’re just too busy thinking about important stuff to wrestle with our facial muscles because someone else might be looking.
Be nice to us and we’ll be lovely right back.
Carnie says
I have the worst resting bitchy face. Apparently I look confused and angry while I’m watching TV, so many strangers have smiled at me saing “Cheer up. it might never happen,” and my tutor at Uni told me many times that it looked like I was going to punch him in the face.
But it’s so annoying when people are constantly asking “what’s wrong?” that I usually end up in a mood over it anyway.
We just can’t win!
Amy Lord says
I feel your pain, Carnie. I always get annoyed when told to cheer up by random people, even though I’m perfectly fine!
Kathy D says
Oh boy! I was so happy reading this! My sister and I also have the same type of default expression on our faces. I was wondering why people would be intimidated by me or always ask me why I was was mad! You think I would have gotten a clue, because I always wondered why my sister looked so serious all the time! LOL! A co-worker was always asking me what I was so mad about. I told him it was just my default look. He doesn’t ask anymore. He understands. He got a real kick out of it when I told him it had a name: RESTING BITCH FACE. Now that I’m older, everybody just thinks I’m an ornery old woman, but they like me anyway 🙂 Oh well, that’s life. Those who know me know that I’m a very kind, nice lady. Life is too short to worry about what others think. Just one piece of advice – try to consciously put aside the default look if you are going on a job interview!
Kathy
Amy Lord says
Ha, glad you can relate Kathy! And good advice about the job interview, you might have to think about what your face is doing but it’d be worth it!