Reading has always been a huge part of my life, but for the last few years I’ve read much less than I did when I was younger and could spend whole days lost in a good novel.
Sometimes I put that down to the demands of juggling work and writing, and the impact that has on my energy levels or ability to focus. On other days, I blame my smartphone and the hours spent scrolling mindlessly through social media.
I’ve beaten myself up a lot about this and worried about the damage I’m doing to my brain and my ability to focus, but I can’t seem to break the bad habits.
But recently, my desire to read has returned. Not only that, it’s gone into overdrive. I’m devouring books the way I used to: sitting down for hours at a time, reading a book a day, picking up novels that haven’t really grabbed me yet, when normally I’d put them to one side and end up not reading anything for three months.
And it feels amazing.
Not only am I reading, but I’m finding a lot more enjoyment in it too. For a long time, I’ve struggled to feel excited about the books I’ve read. A lot of them are ‘good’ or ‘okay’ but nothing more. I’ve wondered if that was down to the things I’d chosen or whether it was something in me. Growing up, the highest praise my dad ever gave anything like that was ‘it was alright’ and I had begun to suspect that finding joy in a book had been lost along the way as I creep into middle age.
But no, it turns out I can get excited about books. I’ve read some brilliant ones just this week (shoutout to Trespasses by Louise Kennedy and Mr. Loverman by Bernardine Evaristo).
My local library has been keeping me busy for a few months, but I’ve also started to get through some of the backlog I’ve been storing up on my overflowing shelves. I’ve even read books WITHIN DAYS OF BUYING THEM. Who even am I?!
So, what has caused this sudden surge in the ability to read?
I work freelance now, and since finishing a contract in February, I’ve kept my schedule fairly light. I’ve been studying for a postgraduate qualification and working on various writing projects, but my days have more flexibility and more freedom. It feels like I’m coming back into myself in a way I haven’t been in years.
Eventually I’ll have to ramp up my work commitments again, but for now, I’m enjoying being a book lover again and I’ll work hard to keep hold of that feeling.