Before sitting down to write this post, I took a look back at the one I wrote this time last year, reflecting on 2021. And it turns out, I could have written the same piece about this year, almost word for word.
Time has been stretching and slipping for a while now, so the last two or three years have become tangled together, each year an extension of the previous one. Now that I work from home full-time, the days and weeks often feel the same and I’m often caught in my own little bubble. And with the news cycle getting progressively worse, it can be hard to focus on the positives.
It makes me a bit sad to see that I’ve struggled with all the same things in 2022 that I did in 2021, and haven’t really managed to make any of the progress I hoped for.
Last year, I noted that not much had happened with my writing and I’d lost confidence in my voice, leading me to avoid sharing articles here (or continuing to send out my newsletter, if anyone wonders what happened to that). That feeling intensified this year. I’ve become quite anxious about sharing my work and I’m not sure if anyone is still reading, but hey, writing this is an excuse to flex my creative muscles again.
So, what has the last twelve months looked like?
I’ve continued with freelance life, juggling various jobs and often working long hours. There has been some burn out. I’m still querying my second novel and have had some really positive feedback, but haven’t yet found a home for it. And realistically, I think the time for querying this project is coming to an end. While I’m used to rejection, I’ve found this round of submissions difficult, as so many agents now don’t respond at all to queries, which does get under my skin. And with the novel set in my hometown and very much written in a northern voice, dealing with some of the economic and social issues found in post-industrial towns like mine, it does make me feel there’s no place for my voice in publishing.
Aside from reworking this manuscript, I haven’t managed to do much new writing this year. Working on multiple projects at the same time, plus paid work, is a bit much for me, although I did manage to draft a short novella-in-flash about climate change way back in January. And I have begun outlining a new novel, something purposely commercial in the hope that will help it out into the world. Now I just need to carve out some space to actually start writing…
While I’m not ending the year having achieved everything I wanted, there are things to be grateful for. A few highlights from 2022 were:
- Adding another dog to our family, which has brought us a lot of joy and playfulness (along with sleepless nights and training stress!)
- The high point of my writing year was receiving a Developing Your Creative Practice (DYCP) grant from Arts Council England to work on a collection of short stories set in and around Middlesbrough. I’m planning to write more about that project as the year goes on, but you can follow along on Instagram @WritingMiddlesbrough.
- Getting back into live music after two years of lockdowns, cancellations and sickness, plus going to see lots of amazing theatre, including a couple of solo London trips to see I, Joan at Shakespeare’s Globe and Mad House at Ambassador’s Theatre, starring David Harbour and Bill Pullman.
- Going back to university, after signing up to study a postgraduate course on teaching and creative writing. So far, the course has been really interesting and I’m looking forward to continuing my studies in the new year.
While the last few years have been tough in many ways, I’m hoping to make some space for myself in 2023 and reconnect with the things that are important. I might even write another blog post setting myself some goals, something I didn’t do for 2022.
However the last year has been for you, I hope you have some quiet time to rest and reflect with your loved ones before January comes calling.
Jan Wolfe says
I’m still reading! I was wondering what had happened to you, especially as I had been talking about “The Disappeared” to someone the other day. Your year sounds similar to mine and that of many other people – we are kind of treading water, trying to get by, wanting to pursue dreams but not having time to do so. Keep the faith, and keep believing. And here’s to 2023 which is going to be an enormous year in so many ways.
Amy Lord says
Thanks Jan, treading water is definitely a good way to describe it and I know it’s something so many people are experiencing. Let’s hope next year brings some positives too!